I read in a news paper about Nilaadri Shankar (name changed), a 23-year-old telemarketing executive currently working in Chennai, admits that she likes the excitement of one-night stands. She says, “When you’re thinking of a relationship, there are so many things you look out for in a guy. But when it’s purely for fun, it’s only about the physical attraction. I know that many older Indians think that girls who treat sex casually are slutty. But among my friends, it’s uncool to be inexperienced.” it seems casual sex is suddenly no big taboo for many young women in urban India.
Men have always been the ones who are supposedly genetically and psychologically geared for a no-strings-attached sex life. But things are changing and today’s Indian woman is slowly moving away from the ‘touch me not’ syndrome. “Now, sex is not taboo anymore. Everyone’s indulging in it. In this scenario, young girls, too, are talking about sex and initiating casual encounters .
“This is happening because many of us, including the guys, realise that virginity is an over-rated and outdated concept. I think I’ll be ready for a mature relationship later on in life. Maybe I’ll even settle down with someone my parents choose for me in the next two-three years. But right now, I don’t have the time or the inclination for a committed relationship. And I’m happy meeting so many interesting men.These are the attitudes of early 20 girls.
With the marriageable age becoming 28, most girls feel that the early 20s are a time to have fun without commitment ,so these girls have emotionless and casual sexual encounters with boys.
Twenty-nine-year-old Mumbai-based investment analyst, Girish Bairagi (name changed), although single and happy to mingle with this new breed of bold and beddable women, admits that he is a little bewildered. “I’m not complaining, but yes, it was a little difficult for me to accept at first. There’s just no emotion involved! These 23- and 24-year-olds are very cool about going away with someone for the weekend without any fears. And suppose I tell them I’m busy, they don’t sit at home and feel upset about it. They just go with someone else or wait till I am free. It’s become as casual as having a cup of coffee together!”
Delhi psychiatrist Dr Avdesh Sharma explains why this attitude prevails, “There was a time when boys in their 20s witnessed a sexual revolution. Now, it’s the turn of the girls, who are willing to experiment with their sexuality. There’s no emotional bond between partners. In fact, girls don’t want to get emotional about the boys. Here’s a new generation that just wants to satisfy its desires. We’re living in a world where popular culture is dictating our relationships and sex life. Sex is seen as fun without responsibility. There’s a lack of emotions when we have casual sex. Young girls are enjoying this emotionless hook-up.”
According to analysts, this attitudinal shift stems from increasing levels of self-confidence that could be a direct result of financial independence. “BPOs, marketing and PR companies hire young employees and pay them a packet. These youngsters are then tempted to lead a lifestyle that’s far beyond their years. Influenced by books and programmes like Sex & The City and Coupling, they believe that appearing sexy raises their ‘cool quotient’. Actually having sex with a significant other or even experimenting with casual affairs is just a progression from there,” says HR consultant Binaifer Adenvala. While not all casual sex can be attributed to the BPO boom, The Times (London) did report in mid-March that one in four Indian call centre workers regularly had casual affairs.
Hooking Up: The New Buzzword
With the tendency for flings on the rise, books like The Hookup Handbook: A Single Girl’s Guide to Living It Up or The Happy Hook-Up: A Single Girl’s Guide to Casual Sex are being lapped up enthusiastically by youngsters. According to Andrea Lavinthal and Jessica Rozler, co-authors of the Hookup Handbook, “hooking up” is the vague phrase used to describe what happens (everything from making out to full-on sex) between two people who don’t have a foreseeable future or even a hint of commitment.
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